过山车的心情

真的有点受不了自己
之前还无法释怀
现在竟然有松了一口气的感觉
两天就解决了问题
虽然得到了答案的那一刻有点错愕
可是
并没有想象中那么伤心
拜我的直觉所赐吧
想象中的答案和现实中的答案
竟然一模一样
也许
彼此各退一步
离开了朋友和情人间的界线
回到各自之前的位置
是最适合的选择

无论如何
付出的爱
永远收不回
心中的缺口
需要时间来愈合
幸运的是
彼此还没那么深入这份感情
否则
爱得越深
伤得越重

但这一刻的我决定了
从此无欲无求
一切顺其自然
因为
心如止水才能看透一切

哭了

昨夜
睡了一个非常不安稳的觉
脑海中
浮现的都是昨天那擦身而过的你
突然间
好后悔没回头叫你
好后悔没回身看看你的背影
好后悔当时假装没事的和朋友高声谈天

今晨
从睡梦中醒来
发现枕边湿湿的
发觉眼睛涩涩的
原来
我第一次为了你而哭了

在彼此没有联络的第一天
我生病了
真的病了
头好痛
鼻涕一直流
唉。。。。

当我见到你的那一刹那
第一个念头就是想逃走
对不起
我不知道怎么面对你
在你还没找到答案之前
我不想成为你的负担
也不想因为我而扰乱了你的思绪

你知道吗
当我转移视线
看着地上时
而你和我擦身而过
我多么希望你对我说声“嗨”
可是
我听到的
只有你那熟悉的脚步声
越走越远
越走越远

现在
我唯一能做的事
就是等待
等待那一份答案
也许会再伤心一次
但至少我知道
知道了你真正的想法
知道了你真正想要的是什么

虽然不知等待的日子有多长
但我会一直等下去
等到我真的撑不下去的那一天

Started

Today started my first sem of first year degree...
so many things have to do...
but due to too many people...
I have to settle all tomorrow...

by the way...
my advance calculus lecturer--Dr Abu Bakar also known as "Dr Burn"...
wondering is he a good lecturer...
hmmm...
and my civil engineering materials lecturer--Dr Shibli...
according to his description of this subject...
the cement, the aggregate, the concrete, the bituminous materials, the timber, the steel...
I really can't wait to study all that...
really looking forward of this subject...
^^

Back in Uniten

Finally back in uniten...
so tired...
about 12 noon check in Murni...
first time come here...
the room is quite big compared to Ilmu single room...
and quite clean also...
after arranging all the things...
meet my bro and headed for our lunch...
and after that...
my parents went back ady...
holidays end...
new sem start...
hope tomorrow will be a better day...
^^

Holidays end...

Tomorrow morning going back to uniten...
3 weeks holidays officially ended...
no more sleeping till afternoon...
no more tv shows from day to night...
no more delicious dishes from mum...
waiting in front of me is a whole new semester in my 1st year degree...
7 subjects with a total of 16 credit hours...
drafting, drafting lab, material, material lab, statics I, advance calculus and malaysian studies...
hope can do really well in the following semester....

by the way...
just now packing and sorting out my things...
omg...
I have reduced the things to bring...
but as a result...
you will know when looking at the photo below...

well...
some still not in the photo...
so imagine how many things I have...
XD

bye bye to the study room at my home (quite messy actually...)....no worry...I'll be back...hehe...

Countdown

So many things happened this holidays...
a lot of changes...
well...
some is really unexpected...
^^
anyway...
got my result...
not so good...
kinda disappointed though...
got my apartment...
but no idea who will be my housemates...
got my sem 1 time table...
I don't want friday class...
but no choice...
no add and drop session for us...
overall this holidays just keep resting...
everyday sleep and eat and TV shows....
kinda boring but I sure will miss this holidays...
begining to pack and arrange all my things...
few more days to go for my holidays...
and it's time to go back...
to start a brand new life...
looking forward this...