I really Hate Myself....

Yesterday just got my calculus test 1 result....
first time saw it....
really happy...
it's rather than estatic....
I got 42/50....
such a high marks and I really feel like my affort had paid off...
but after Dr Ahmad discussing and giving the answer...
I realized the last question Dr Ahmad marked wrongly....
the radius I wrote and determined correct...
but I minus it wrongly....
on that moment....
I really wanna punch myself....
angle and devil in my heart began to argue....
is it necessary to say to Dr Ahmad let him remark again or just keep my mouth shut?
then zul asked me a question,"Do you want the marks or honesty?"
first time I answer him,"I want the marks..."
but after that I think back...
it's so unfair to the others....
and....
chinese also say that...
人在做，天在看
(how the human behave, there is someone up there looking at us)
so...
at last...
I decided to hand up again the test paper to Dr Ahmad to remark it again....
maybe many people will say I'm so silly.....
it's better keep the mouth shut then let it be...
I also thought like that...
but deep inside my heart...
I'll feel really guilty...
because when I was in primary school....
just because I wanna get full marks for the paper...
I change the answer and said my teacher marked wrongly...
that's the worst thing I ever done in my whole life....
being punished and scolded by my teacher and my parents...
from that day onwards...
I dare not tell lie anymore....
and if necessary I'll tell the truth....

so although I'm so depressed today....
it's not all about the marks...
is about my carelessness....
really blaming myself damn so much...
but what can I do?
nothing...
therefore...
again..
let it be...
because I can't change anything...